Not the usual Sunday – but I better get used to it I suppose.
Got up at the crack of dawn. Had coffee and then went through the ritual of trying to look fabulous. At 50 + this is sometimes a struggle lol but hey I managed to make myself feel great anyway.
Yesterday I had been a spray tan virgin along with fake lashes virgin. I was quite pleased with myself for conquering the fear of looking like an orange- you have been tangoed lol . I was quite impressed with the verdict to be honest. I looked & felt ace. I had bought new atire for the occasion also.
I put the prison address in the sat nav and prayed the car would start. It’s been problematic for months now. A ritual of bumping it every time I try to start it. I’ve got to Grand Prix times of doing it now.
Ypee – a good omen.
I got to the prison car parked. A collection of outlaw motors & my clapped out beaten up one in the middle. At least I know I have a Harley Chop in the workshop eh – no shame in that.
It was raining and a sobering walk in the cold & drizzle along the overwhelming prison wall. I suppose you blank it out after a while.
Got to the visitors center and the usual ritual of finger scan & id. Raised voices of women trying to radiate some sort of pecking order. I am so very glad to be me.
The intrusive search on the way in – the clostraphobic feel of the doors sliding and locking shut behind you.
So very glad to see my soulmate. He looked well & healthy and a contrast from our last visit. We were both mentally & physically drained by the events of the past few months.
We chatted – we laughed- we reminisced and we made plans and before you know it our goodbye came far too soon.
I can’t look back on leaving – my heart is in tatters as it is. But I keep strong. I have to.
After getting out of there – inhaling the damp air. Freedom.
I go to a nearby cinema and lose myself in a film . Valium for the brain – and it worked. I felt positive- Free.
Tomorrow it will be work again. But it passes the TIME. Every second that passes he will be back where he belongs. At the moment we are both rebuilding & healing our tattered souls.
Tomorrow is another day .
Boots Blogg 